The years catch up...

At what point do you become old? Is it really a state of mind?

I was told recently that you are considered old (or older) when you reach the age of 50. Although I have a long time until then I am still over half way!!! I guess the reason for my musing today is the state of complete exhaustion I feel. Yes, last night I went out. Consequently, I've only had about 4 hours sleep. Normally or historically I would say, this would not have phased me.

Today I can barely keep my eyes open never mind type or do anything productive. When did I go through 'the change'? It used to be that I functioned on as little sleep as humanly possible and now I strive for a few hours of uninterrupted rest. I feel that this is a genuinely excellent reason not to have children. Unless they come with the ability to sleep through the night. And a money-back guarantee as nappies are expensive.

As you can tell, I'm not with it enough to be witty or even vaguely amusing today. Maybe that's a sign of old age?

Random thought of the day: If variety is the spice of life, why do we use Cinnamon?

A flaw to blogging..

I've discovered a major flaw to my blogging experience...the lack of a working computer. I'm sure this is only a minor flaw as I appear to be skilled in inviting myself to places with computer access. However , it is also a useful excuse for the days I really can't be bothered or actually have my time filled with activities akin to a social life.

I'm still in the midst of seeking new employment and have been asked by an agency how my friends would describe me. I gave some slightly appropriate answers. Really though, do I really want to know the true answer? I think not. I like having friends and I fear the truth would diminish this. They say ignorance is no excuse for things and ignorance is bliss. I'll take the bliss - thanks very much.

In my quest for 'a normal job' I've applied to the census. Walking around asking questions seems fairly straightforward. They made me take 3 tests just to get to the application stage! (Results pending...) Some of the questions are OK, along the lines of would you go home early if you felt like it and would you grass on your colleagues. Clearly anyone not clever enough to see through that also wouldn't have the ability to get on the website but anyway... At this point I'm thinking 'ok this test Will be easy.' Then I'm told to plan the shortest route to 4 locations with a bizarre table of distances. Now I understand why they want to know if I can do this (which I couldn't) but they could at least have given some flexibility or an appeal section. If I fail, I might petition with the following:

Dear sir/madam/computerised machine

I feel that rejecting my application on the basis of map reading is unjustified. Yes, my ability to get from point a to b is hindered usually by my inability to find point A on the map and don't get me started on point B. But, in fairness I have an IPhone and most importantly Google Maps. So unless you're sending me to Mars or one of the few freaky black spots, I don't need to know these things. In fact, Google Maps is much quicker then getting lost. It tells me each step. Literally. Therefore, my brain can save space for the useful things like writing the correct census codes or plotting how to get promoted to your job. I'm sure I'd be better at it then you anyway. (Joke. You really are an expert)

Please reconsider my application or at least provide your staff with IPhones so they have no excuse for missing their daily quota.

Thanks

Libby

I'm sure this would be greatly accepted. Or not. But the point is still valid. Fingers crossed they hire me before reading this!

Random thought of the day: If I wasn't dyslexic, would I be able to spell dyslexia (p.s. this has been spell checked and you should have seen it the first time I wrote it)

The Supermarket debate...

Sometimes I wonder why it's the little things that most annoy me. I'm currently at war with Asda (letter bombing has yet to follow) over such a petty issue and am unsure how to take this further,

Cottage Cheese is such a simple food but one of my favourites. However, Asda appear to be illiterate or just very confused and insist on placing it with dips and not cheese. I feel the give away is in the name. Cottage CHEESE should clearly be with the...wait for it...cheeses! (In my not-so-humble on this topic opinion)

I understand the tomato debate, it's a fruit with vegetable like qualities. But again I go back to the name cottage cheese (just for those who have forgotten) as the deciding factor. Both Morrisons and Tesco understand this but Asda seem misguided. I will take responsibility for forgetting this each time I venture into their cheese department having forgotten or repressed the memories.

Maybe they know something I don't and it is just masquerading under an alias. If that's the case then please share the secret and put my mind at rest. Asda, if you have some genuine reason to believe it belongs with the dips, can you please put some in the cheese section too...

I think I should just shop at Tesco to avoid the frustration. Then I remember trying to buy plastic cutlery. That was the day I released there must be a high percentage of deaths caused by plastic spoons. So many could have been prevented if we all used the Tesco method and ID people before they purchase some. After much persuasion I did manage to buy them and they helpfully put them in a carrier bag. Surprisingly I didn't need ID for that and am now confident no-one has ever suffocated in a plastic bag.

Isn't it great that I can focus on the really big issues in life. Once I take on Asda and win I think I'll tackle something serious like world hunger or the lack of decaff tea in shops...

Random thought of the day: Can anyone please explain why I dreamt of electrocuting cows last night? Even my subconscious is random.

An interesting discovery

I decided to save myself some money today. It's amazing that in the anticipation of losing your job how many 'necessities' vanish. I mean really, do I need food or contact lenses? I'll never give up tea but everything is negotiable.

As I read quite a bit, I decided rather than buy some new books I would visit the library. I frequently use the Internet at the library but have never ventured to the other floors. Fortunately we had the privilege of a new 5-storey library being built last year. However, as discovered today there is a distinct lack of books!

I'm actually considering challenging the library as I reckon I own more books the them. Or if they're really struggling with the recession then organise a donation tray. I'll give them enough to at least look bigger then my school library. I eventually found a computer and ran some searches. I looked for recent best sellers and some of them weren't even recognised.

At this point I thought I'd go with the obvious. I tried James Patterson who (if you live in a cave in Mongolia)is the biggest author since sliced bread (who made it on Richard and Judy's list I'm sure). JP writes a new book every week ...suspiciously half of them have other author's names in small print. Imagine that, years of writing and finally your big break isn't even readable under JP's name. Well Newcastle library has 1 JP book! And not even a particularly good one. After much meandering I picked up a book that promised me a good thriller. So far I've discovered it's all written phonetically. In Scottish! Somehow, I'm not that desperate.

What's the moral of the story? If you want a new book don't go to the library. Get a cheap book by going to a charity shop or Asda. But whatever you do, don't try the library.

Random thought of the day: Can I call it a random thought of the day if all my thoughts are random?

Why not?

Well after spending a few days puppy-sitting (and having my favourite shoes destroyed) my mother suggested I write a blog. This may be to do with the fact that I wrote an updated diary of the dog's adventures and multiple suicide attempts or that having 3 days to puppy-sit demonstrates the lack of money and excitement in my life.

Whatever the reason behind it, I am now 'blogging' into oblivion as no-one knows it exists. It seems about as pointless as seeing the money taken off you on your payslip. Seriously, everytime I look at a payslip and see the money taken off I feel quite depressed. I don't object to taxes, I would just rather have the option to see the final amount. If it has to be on there can they not make it like a magic eye. That way you would have to really want to see it. Saying that, I would like an itemised list of where my taxes go...that may not help my mood. Particularly if it involved the words 'moat', 'duck pond' or 'david cameron'

Thought of the day: I read this somewhere "There are only 2 certanties in life. Death and the Eurovision Song Contest" I vote for death: Surely it's the kinder option? Either that or make death row a rolling programme of the history of Eurovision...